Adjustable Cup - How to get a bigger cup of tea.

Brake Shoe - What happened when Cinderella dropped her glass slipper.

Chainwheel - How to lock you bike so that only the frame is stolen.

Dooring - Nothing amusing to see here.

English Racer - Victoria Pendleton.

Face Plant - Why your mother told you to keep your nose clean.

Granny Gear - Cycling in bloomers.

Head Tube - Putting helmet-mounted camera footage on the Internet.

Involuntary Dismount - Driving somewhere.

Jam Nut - Owwww.

Kickstand - The proper sequence of events should someone push you off your bike.

LBS - Look Before Swerving.

Mountain Bike - A bike designed to be ridden on flat surfaces, usually pavements.

Noodle - That bit of hair which gets in your mouth but you can’t spit out.

Over the Bars - Giving up alcohol.

P******e - Something that only occurs when you’re running late.

Quick-Release - Having a pee at the side of the road.

Rim - The part of the body which hurts after the first long ride on a bike.

Stud - A male cyclist.

Touring - Taking a “short cut.”

U-brake - What to do at red traffic lights.

Vice-Grip - If you are not yet Over the Bars.

Wheel Bender - A very gay cyclist.

XC - To hug the gutter in the countryside.

You’re Welcome - The response drivers expect after informing you that you’re “awll over the farkin’ raaad”.

Zip Tie - A means to store items inside office wear.